Honorable Marriage

Marriage is God's arrangement and by him it was designed, it forms a bond of union to bless mankin. That is true,but how does marriages of these days reflect these beautiful statement? You will agree with me that marriages are facing difficulties today. What are the causes of these problems? Are there remedies to these? From where will the solutions come from?

We all knows that when a man a woman startes to date in an wholesome way it will eventually lead to marriage,at that point in time these are blissful experiences that follows. The man will likely want to see the lady quite often,making phone calls at will,visting,giving precious gifts so as to appear nice to the lady. You will notice that they will start to dream dreams of happy futhure. The lady will start to count the days,hoping that the wedding day will come so soon. The man will start been jealous of any other man that may be arround the lady,some will start been so suspicious of the lady's movement. Sometimes it is to protect the lady.

What normally occure after the wedding days is that the man will now thank his God for all the troubles, and that he had succeeded in bringing the woman of his choise into his home, and the woman will rejoice that she had found her mr "Right". But the uncerterties of marriage is always there. They may manage to live happily for some time before the "dicisive time arrive" that is the time when the true picture of the man and the woman will surface.

Let us analysize some the probems that may come to destroy this intitution that God instituted from the begining of man,there are as follows:
1. Wrong choise of mate(been infatuated during courtship).
2. Demand of carreer men and women.
3. Lack of communication.
4. Undue influence of ones mate(either male or female).
5. Expecting more than the mate can deliver(wrong expectations).
6. Looking for wrong sources of guidiance.
7. Neglect of spousal phsycal and emotional needs.
8. The quest for matrialism
9. Lack of genuine love for ones mate.
10. Incompactablity in marriage.

Many a times you will hear a man that will lament that his wife is not suitable to him or that there is incompactablity between him and his wife. You will agree with me that this must stem from wrong choise of mate. It may not only be the man alone that will asert this statement the woman will equally say the samething. The simple reason could be that they made a wrong choise of a mate. It may be that the expectations is centered on some foundamental reasons like: I want to marry an educated person,someone from a reputable family,someone with financial strenght, someone with good looks,even the color may be a factor etc.
When all these happened to be the consideration it may derail good motives in marrying the right mate.

In all countries of the world no doubt, the demand on spouses today make the ends meet has made everyone to work long hours to make more money to care for the family needs. The man will leave the home very early to meet the work or business schedules,coming home very late at night. At are the women exempted from this? Not at all. They too are some times deep into these problem. Some work longer hours so as to compliment the effort of their spouse. Let us ask
what are the consequences of all these? The home suffers that is the responsibilities of the spouses will be naglected, they will be trying to manage themselves. In other words they will be sitting on time Boomb waiting for the time it will explode.

Marriage that is good and stable must be built on solid foundation that is on good communication. Communication comes in different shades and colors, the major maens of communication is spoken words. Do you know you can make or mare your marriage with the way you communicate? Do you have quility times to communicate? Both by spoken words and body communications(having quiet times to just look into your spouse Eyes and torch him or her and say emotional words that torches the inner person),so we can see that the problems encountered by marriage mates most often is lack of communication. Intead of qurrelling over issues why not talk it over. You will always win the battles of marriage when you talk sincerely to your spouse not casually.

In some cultures where the extended family is practiced, the spouses will always be exposed to the influence of the extended family members. This will always create bad feeling from the mate that is unduely influenced to do the bidding of others. you will notice that the wife is always at odds with all these for as the holy Book says"that the wife is the weaker vessel". In such environment the husband always side his people and the wife will take side with their own. Whe two Elephants fights who suffers? Is it not the Grass? which will now be the marriage mates.

Honorable marriage is illusive today because of wrong expectations from the mates,how can one explain the rational of mates expecting impossibilities from the other. For example your spouse expecting you to purchase a car for him or her and all you saving and all you had is not enough to take care of the home front. How can one manage such a situation,not only on material things also on emotional and biological needs like sex. The list may be endless.

Honorable marriage can only be attainable if the mates looked for guidiance for happy marriage from the right source that is from the orininator of marriage. For example you cannot go to a Farmer for guidiance when you have problems with you automobile (car) is that possible? You can only succeed in marraige by looking for guidiance from God who instituted the marriage,if you do not know how consult the holy book the Bible.It says"husand should loving his own wife as his own body and the wife should have deep respect for her husband". From human stand points this is out of the question. So God and not man can guide you to a successful marriage.